Christmas past, Christmas present

10 days till Christmas!!!! This year has gone by so fast and so much has happened. Christmas 2008 my family and I traveled to Pennsylvania. We spent time with the family, went snow-tubing and of course shopping. Life was normal and wonderful. We spent Christmas Eve thanking God for the birth of Jesus and thanking God for our family we were surrounded by. Christmas day was spent at gram's house with family again and presents (of course). Braylon was 8 months old and seeing his first Christmas. At this time, we had no clue that Braylon had a stroke. We didn't know the amount of damage that occurred to his brain. And we couldn't even recognize the fighter we had on our hands!
I remember it clearly.... My two older boys slowly walked down the stairs to see what Santa had left them. Perhaps they even surprised at how much there was. Braylon is being passed from lap to lap. He was unable to sit up, so he was held a lot. Tearing at the gift wrap was more fun than anything else for Braylon. I can remember having conversations about Braylon and how "normal" he seems. (At this time we had a neurology appointment, but hadn't gone yet.) He was 8... almost 9 months old and he couldn't sit on his own or hold a bottle. Really he barely played with anything. I don't think that was normal.
This past year I've learned my baby had a stroke and suffered major damage. But more importantly I learned that with God even babies can overcome any obstacle. When I think back on it, I just can't believe all God has brought us through. The amount of change I've seen in Braylon in less than a year is nothing short of a miracle.
Christmas is always full of memories. My memories will always be landmarks on Braylon's road map to his destiny. This year at Christmas we will be in Texas with family. Braylon will be playing outside with his brothers and cousins. He will be free from all laps (although I'm sure when he's ready there will always be one available). I'm sure tearing the wrapping paper will still be fun for him. B will be enjoying the holidays on a completely different level and I'm so happy for him.

Happy Holidays everyone! Happy Birthday Jesus!!

From the walker to the AFO brace... either way, Braylon is determined!

Strong hand, Powerful speech?

Last week I took Braylon in for a neurology appointment. I was a little nervous to hear what the doctor was going to say about B's speech not progressing. This week B will be 19 months old and he is still not communicating with us. Although he says the "dada" sound and the "mama" sound, neither are directed towards us. The only hand gestures Braylon uses are bye-bye and peek-a-boo. So even with all of the awesome improvements going on physically with Braylon, my curiosity about his speech delay and play delay makes me a little nervous.
Anyways.... after the neurologists being amazed at Braylon walking already (remember he didn't even know if he'd ever walk), we began discussing the speech issue. I informed him that Braylon has been receiving speech therapy for some time now, but with no progress. His next question to me was, "Is anyone in the family left-handed?" My response, "Yes, my husband and dad are both left handed, but what does that have to do with speech?!?" It turns out that Braylon would've most likely been left-handed (like daddy), but because of the stroke his strong hand will of course be the right hand. It also turns out that most of the time speech is located on the same side of the brain that controls your strong hand... which in Braylon's case is his right side of the brain (the damaged side). It's amazing how God created our bodies to work!
My nervousness turned into thanksgiving. Although B is still not communicating, I know that he will soon. We are going to have to wait on the speech info to transfer from the right side to the left side of his brain. AND of course we will be on Braylon's time, like everything else.
I've always heard and read that there's power in the tongue. I find it very insightful that a person's strong (powerful) hand is located near the powerful tongue in our brains. It makes me wonder what God's purpose is for that.... Maybe thoughts really do become words and words really do become actions. Who knows?!

MIA

It has been awhile since I posted anything on my blog site. I'm sorry for those of you who check regularly for updates, because I have been missing in action. But let me stand clear God has still been very present in our lives!!!

As you can see in the picture Braylon has a walker. My mom and gram were in town when we first received the walker and it was so cute to see B and gram both using their walkers to get around. I should have seen if they would race. LOL! ... just kidding!! Braylon used the walker outside to get around and hang out with his big brothers, but indoors he stayed crawling on his knees. It seemed to me that B didn't want to leave his comfort zone. He knows how fast he is hoping around and was fearful that he wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of us on two feet. It's probably a common reaction when something is new. I can only speak for myself, but its hard to start something new fully committed. Fear creeps into our thought process and convinces us that we can never be as good in a new adventure, so we'd rather stay with the "comfortable" old one. Although that may be a common response or emotion, it doesn't mean we have to stay in that emotion of fear. And I'm so glad Braylon didn't either!!!

Literally within a couple weeks Braylon has moved away from his walker and begun walking on his own!!! The comfort of his crawl has changed into the new explorations his walk can take him too. It all started with three steps to his bottle, then five to a pretty young lady (not me...lol) and now his steps are so many I can't even count. B's walk isn't the prettiest. As a matter of fact his o/t said he looks like Fred Sanford from Sanford & Son... which is so totally true! But it is beautiful to me. To see B walk across the room, pause to catch his balance, then continue around the corner is one of the best things I've seen. Thank you God, for your vision is always bigger than mine.

Braylon is a constant reminder of how blessed we are. Last week, my oldest son Torian, was doing homework. On his third sentence he told me his hand was too tired from writing. My first instinct was get on to him, but then I remembered B. We talked about Braylon and the fact that he doesn't even know how to begin to use one of his hands, let alone complain about it being tired. We discussed how God blesses us all with individual gifts and to not use them would be sad. After the discussion, Torian no longer complained about a hurting hand and later that night he thanked God for all 10 of his working fingers. Because B is a constant reminder for us, I ask this for Braylon..."With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith." 2 Thessalonians 1:11.

How Great is Our God Tour

God is so great and so mighty! Friday I took Braylon to a new doctor for a check-up. The doctor was taking note of his past medical history and issues with his stroke. The exam continued as normal, then the doctor left to get some referrals for a hearing test and eye exam. While she was gone, the head doctor came in to speak with me about Braylon's stroke. As I was discussing the amount of damage done to his brain, I remembered I had a couple MRI pics on my phone. So I pulled out my phone and showed the doctor (who had another doctor with him). He was speechless. The only words he could say over and over again were, "That's impressive." He couldn't believe that B was able to do as much as he was with an MRI image like that. The head doctor called in Dr. Khan (B's new doc) to see the images along with 2 more nurses. All them kept repeating "that's impressive." The nurses were able to talk a little more and were stunned at what they were seeing. I told them that I was scared to death when I first saw the images as well, but then I looked down at Braylon playing and smiling back at me and I knew God is always good.
When the appointment was over, I gathered my things and headed out the room. As I stepped out the door, I saw the 2 nurses crying over what they just saw in Braylon. Then walking to the checkout, I saw the head doctor in a room full of people talking about what he had just seen also. My thoughts.... sometimes the worst things in life can be the loudest voice to edify the Lord! We all need to humble ourselves and I think that day some doctors realized that although they can do some amazing things, God is so much bigger than them!
Today in church I saw one of the most powerful videos to every come before my eyes. Some of you may have heard of it or seen it as well, but I'm including some links to check it out anyway. The video puts in perspective how BIG God really is. It connects science with christianity. And by the end you will see why the only words the doctors can mumble out about Braylon are "That's impressive." My mighty Lord literally has allowed all of us to connect with him thru the cross. Watch and be amazed.

Deon

The video is about 40 minutes long. Because its on youtube, I guess you have to watch it in 5 parts. It's worth it tho!!!! Pass it on too...

part 1 : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGxsI8ksX8Q

part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfNiZrt5FjU&feature=related

part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVxdRrWjh0g&feature=related

part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6AB5IvogHc&feature=related

part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVBNKSjg-LQ&feature=related

Images....

"Nothing even looks wrong with him." I hear those words all of the time from people I meet and share Braylon's story with. What they don't understand is, B may have a disability, but in no way something wrong. The Bible says, "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." How can anyone have anything "wrong" with them when we are all made perfect in the image of God.

Looking at Braylon, there are some definant issues he is overcoming, but God's light is always shining through him. I see miracles and blessings everyday in my baby. It is truly a blessing to be chosen my God to have a child who had a stroke. When I go to the store, the chiropractor, a football game or anywhere, I find the closest person to me and tell them about Braylon. I tell them he had a stroke, suffered severe brain damage, lost vision and was partially paralyzed. Not because I want pity or attention, but so I can hear those words.... "Oh my God!" Yes, my God is here with us everyday. We get to see him in our lives and have a constant reminder of how good he is. I brag to strangers how good God is and the work he is doing in Braylon (and my whole family). Most people don't have a story to tell that gives praise to God in front of friend and foe alike.

Made in the image of God.... all of us are. Let's take a look in the mirror and see our image. Find God in us; our beauty, courage, triumphs and persistence. There is absolutely nothing wrong with us! God makes no mistakes. Take your disabilities, your failures and use them to sing praises to the LORD GOD our FATHER! I promise you will feel much better about the "cards you were dealt" and the obstacles in your way.

photos above were taken for The Littlest Heroes Project by Alison at Starglo Photography.

www.littlestheroes.org

www.starglophoto.com

hard-headed and frustrated

Everyone knows the so-called terrible twos really start about 18 months... When babies start to realize they can have a little independence, but aren't quite sure how to follow rules yet. I think we've run into this with Braylon. He is definitely a strong-willed baby, determined to have things his way. My husband and I both pray for B's independence, but gosh does it wear us out!!!
Braylon has been getting frustrated lately for a couple of reasons. One, because of his age and two, because of his disability. He wants to get around the house as fast as possible and get into everything within reach, just like other babies his age. But he physically can't do things that other babies can. He wants to walk desperately! So he walks around the couch, tables, book shelves and chairs. He also wants to be fast, so he crawls or hops on his knees to play chase (and believe me, he is fast!). Frustrations comes somewhere in the middle. Does he choose free and fast on knees or walking with help??? Braylon just doesn't know, so most of our day is UP, down, UP, down...
Good news is, he's really progressing. B is standing more and more on his own. He is trying to take a step here and there. And cognitively he is right where he should be... praise God! At the end of this month Braylon will be getting fitted for a AFO brace for his foot and a splint for his hand. Hopefully, both help him be more independent and active. I know he has dreams in his heart to run with his brothers. I can't wait for my blog entry to be about him walking around independently. Maybe it will happen sooner than expected!
Keep praying for Braylon and being encouraged by his spirit!!

Miracles in my house

Peeking around a corner in my house, I witnessed a miracle. A miracle that brought me to tears and had me shouting praises to God! In my last post, I mentioned my emotions would soon turn to joy and believe me, joy can't even cover my emotions. They are more like, toe touches for cheerleaders or chest bumps for football players. Emotions that literally gave me a headache from all the blood rushing to my brain!
Now back to the miracle.... As I peeked around the corner to watch B working with the o/t, I saw him leaning against the window seal. The o/t reached out to him so that he may take a step. Well in Braylon's eyes was something I'd never seen before. He was going to do more than just take a step. I watched as B concentrated on his left hand (the hand that was paralyzed just 8 months ago). His thoughts were so intense that it was almost like I could feel what he was thinking. B was telling his hand to move... he was shouting at it in his hand, "Move, MOVE, MOVE HAND". And it listened!!!! B's left hand/arm stretched all the way out to reach his o/t!!!! Gravity hasn't even helped his arm stretch out straight, but with God's help he did it!!! The o/t and I clapped and cheered. I tried to hold back my tears, but couldn't. We have been praying so long for the use of his hand and I just couldn't believe it was starting to happen. Sometimes in life we ask God to bless us in certain areas, but we get so used to the asking we forget that one day it will come true. Now I'm praising God for reminding me that He is here and still does miracles!!!

Emotions (first posted Augus 13)

Ahhh! Another Thursday afternoon. Braylon's therapies are done for the week, the house is almost cleaned (bathrooms tomorrow). Whoops, as I'm writing, I realized we do have to go to the chiro tomorrow. The life!! Honestly, I've never had so many things to remember each week...thank God for technology that chirps to remind me. Sometimes we get caught up in complaining about difficult or different situations (I hope I don't sound like that), but those situations are what I'm so thankful for.
Braylon's schedule has really picked up. We both have been working so hard... Braylon way more than me. B still cries thru every o/t appointment, but I see a huge improvement. I thank God for keeping us busy and pushing us further than we ever thought we could go, even if we are kicking and screaming. Usually the most uncomfortable of things bring us the biggest enjoyment (i.e. child birth for women. lol). It has to rain for the spring flowers to bloom!!!
Speaking of rain, last night tears rained down my face. Being on the sidelines of your favorite team brings many mixed emotions and that's how I've been feeling. All types, from ecstatic to sympathetic and yes, even anger. What has really been on me lately is sadness for my baby. I am praising God everyday because B really is improving, but with that comes obstacles. Braylon sometimes falls onto his left side and when he does, he gets stuck. It's very sad to see, but what's worse is the moment right after. The moment when I have to stand back and encourage him to try to move on his own. When he's staring at me, begging me to save him. Thank God it's just a moment because that's all I can take. Eventually I help him up, but I still must five him the opportunity to do it himself. Soon I expect my tears will again be of joy. If I know Braylon, he's going to learn to get out of that situation too!!!

Technical difficulties

Sorry everyone! I realized a few days ago that the last couple of post I made were all "mumble jumble". I sent a couple of posts thru my phone and I guess blogger did not read them correctly. I will try to repost them, plus update you on our very strong willed B!

Putting in Work

We have a new therapist who comes to the house... the occupational therapist!!! I have been more excited for her to come than any other. Why, you ask.... Well, Braylon's left arm and hand have suffered more than any other part of him (except the loss of periphial vision). I have been wanting to see what the o/t will do so that B can start becoming more aware of his arm and then start using it. Man, does she work him out!!!!
B is excited when she first comes and begins playing with him, but very quickly he becomes frustrated and/or irratated by the exercises. For example, yesterday the o/t brought a ball that Braylon can crawl on top of (smaller yoga ball). He loved it and used his right hand to bang on the ball so he can feel the vibrations. Then the o/t stretched the ball out, which made his left arm stretch out almost straight... oh boy did he HATE that!! Sometimes I try to imagine myself in Braylon's shoes and wonder how he's feeling, but it never works. I stretch my arm straight all the time... even when I'm not trying to (i.e. walking). And for him to have so much pain while forcing his arm to be straight, I'll never know what that is like.
If eyes could talk, B's were saying "Save me, MOMMY!!!!" He was just wiggling away from her, whining about all of the exercises and was completely exhausted by the time it was over. The therapist probably was too! As much as I wanted to pick Braylon up and hold him for just a few moments to give him a break, I new I couldn't. So I got off the floor and walked to the other side of the room to watch. The only words of encouragement that I could muster up were, "The best things in life require the most work, B." I know he's a baby and barely understands "Good Job" let alone my comment, but I didn't just say it for him. Yes, it fits the situation for B... him struggling to stretch his arm or open his hand so that one day he can use it. But I wasn't just talking to him. When I said the best things in life require the most work, I was talking to myself and the two therapist in the room. For me, a few things have become quite difficult, but I must continue to work... even when I'm wanting someone to come save me. Taking on B's stroke has been a battle in many ways. We recognize that not everything is properly functioning. Now we are putting in the work, no matter how hard, so that we can be our best. And we are all thankful to God for believing that we are up to the challenge.

To my favorite family in the world..... My prayers are with you. You have become aware of the problem and are willing to put in the work. There will be days you are screaming for someone to save you, and some days you will feel triumphant. It is your story you are writing. When you are wanting to quit sit back and see God in your situation... recognize His strength and tenderness in each moment. You will get your second wind. You will be blessed. You just have to work harder than ever before. I love you!!

Prayer as a whole

On occasion I go back and reread blog entries from my past. They always make me feel better about whatever situation I am facing at that time. I believe God is guiding me in my writing so that I can help others.... and even myself from time to time. He knows what needs to be said and more importantly what needs to be heard. I praise him for that!

Anyone who has experienced a serious medical condition before can feel my pain. There are so many decisions to make and obstacles to go thru. A few years ago my best friend's sister was shot in the head. As soon as my family heard we began praying and thanking God for her survival. She was able to come thru and now has a wonderful family with a beautiful daughter, but for a time things were really difficult. My whole thought was on her medical condition... never once did I pray for her finances or personal life to heal or continue to be blessed. Never, until my best friend had mentioned her no longer working. It is extremely easy to see a disability or malformation and pray for just that, but God knows we are more than our body shows. I will take any prayer you are willing to offer for Braylon...any! But I ask that you continue to pray for him as a whole, not just his disability.

Lately, everything I do I consider Braylon's schedule first or what needs he has. Not everyone may agree or understand why I choose to stay home with my children or make sure I'm available for ALL of B's many appointments a week. Well when the decision is between making more $$ or supporting my son in his progress, I support my son and have faith that God will take care of the rest. Trying to schedule a sleepover for my older boys, do I just forget about it because Braylon keeps me so busy already or should I find a day where I can devote my time to the sleepover. Of course I stretch myself a little thinner and plan a sleepover for my boys... God will let me know when it's time to rest. We will be victorious thru these obstacles and difficult decisions! But please continue to pray for all of us as a whole, that we may not neglect one another and continue to be faithful to the Lord. Pray that thru this we will meet more friends and inspire others. Pray that we will continue working hard towards our goals and dreams and not give any excuses. Praise him, because in Him we are made whole!!!

Littlest Heroes Photo Shoot

Checking my facebook one day, I noticed an add for a non-profit group called Littlest Heroes Project. The group offers free photography sessions and free photos for children who are disabled or critically ill. I went to their website and checked it out. Soon I filled out an application for Braylon and selected the photographer that I liked... there are photographers all over the world and in our area at least 20 worked with the Littlest Heroes Project. Finally the day came for me to take the boys for their photo shoot. Allison, with Starglo Photography, was wonderful. She allowed the boys to be themselves and in return learned a little about each of them. She took so many pics and I couldn't wait to see them. Well.... She posted a few on her blog for a sneak peak and they are BEAUTIFUL!!! Seriously!!!! I'm posting a link to Allison's blog so you can see the pics yourself and also a link to the Littlest Heroes Project. Maybe you know someone who can benefit from this non-profit as well. (Or a photography who'd like to be a part of the experience!)
http://starglophoto.com/blog/

http://littlestheroesproject.org/Littlest_Heroes_Project/Home.html

Communication

Speech therapy began today. I completely forgot about it until I heard the door bell ring... it can get difficult keeping up with all of B's appointments! My middle son goes to speech therapy in school, so I was able to figure out the structure of these therapy appointments. What I didn't know was how the speech therapist was going to get Braylon to even start communicating. There is only one word he says and that's "DADA", little daddy's boy!?! Besides that I usually have to guess what Braylon wants.
Communication comes in all forms: different languages, body language, sign language, even "eye language". The speech therapist started with basic forms of communication. She wanted him to reach for a toy if he wanted it, instead of grabbing the toy out of her hand. She tried to do it many times, failed many times. Examples were shown to B, but time and time again he yanked the toys from her hands and put them in his mouth. We discussed his basic understanding of simple commands, like "come here", "no".... things he doesn't respond to. The conversation continued between me and the therapist, but none occurred with Braylon.
Frustration is easy to set in and hard to get rid of. I felt myself becoming frustrated, because I want B to be able to point or wave hi and bye. But HE doesn't. Life would be so much easier if instead of biting me, he could gesture for milk. If I could hear mama and know he needed me. Who actually lives in the land of IF.... no one I think, because there will always be more "IFs" to come. This journey would be very long, lonely and disappointing, if I didn't know any better. Although I don't hear the word "Mama", I see it in B's smile when we play. Braylon's way of communicating is lacking, but when I hear a high pitched scream, I know he's talking to his brothers. I'm not sure if he just doesn't understand the word "no" or ignores it, but I think that of my older boys sometimes too! Thursday we will meet again with the speech therapist and maybe more will come from the session. I'm not sure what to expect, but I do know that we will be there for that session and we will be OUR best. All you can do is all you can do and all you can do is enough.
My plans for this blog is to continue writing as long as I need to and as long as others are inspired. My dream for this blog is that Braylon one day will read it and understand how strong he is and communicate in his own words to you that we are all strong in the Lord! God bless!

p.s. Lesson learned.... none of our communication levels are up to par. I need to work on communicating more instead of expecting others to know what I want!

Who's vision is it?

About a week ago we had Braylon's six month evaluation with the physical therapist. To begin we went over the goals we set for Braylon back in January. The goals were to be accomplished by June. Now as I look back at setting those goals, they seemed very realistic... especially considering he had no independence at the time. One goal was that he would be able to sit up for at least 2 minutes and play with a toy, another said he would be able to commando crawl. Braylon has since surpassed all of those goals and completely blew us away. As the p/t was reading the goals both of us looked at each other in amazement, because we had completely forgot how far he had come.
In a six month time period Braylon went from only rolling in one direction and depending on us for EVERYTHING to crawling, holding his bottle, playing on the floor with his brothers and sitting up in the bath. And all of this with limited to no use of his left side. Again, I must say he is a miracle working and I am so privileged to see it.
Speaking with someone about how far Braylon has come they mentioned I was trying to hold him back (said in a joking matter). My reaction to the comment was that my vision for B must not be big enough. That really struck me. My vision can never be big enough for what God has planned. When asked to set new goals for B for him to do by December, I didn't know what to say. Obviously he exceeded our expectations last time. Should I set really high goals, like he's running with his brothers in the yard or more simple ones, like he's able to walk with his walker??? Again I must trust that God's vision is much larger than mine, so let's put it out there. Braylon will be playing in the yard with his brothers for Christmas, he will be able to say some words to communicate, he will begin using his left hand.
Disappointment usually comes when we don't get what we want, when we want it. But I understand we are working on God's time and the good book says, "And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Habakkuk 2:2-3
So I am asking you to read and run. My vision has been stated and I am patiently waiting for God to "knock my socks off" again with what he's doing in Braylon. It's easy to forget how far He has brought us, but I continue to be thankful and keep faith in His word... for his word will not tarry and will surely come true!

With a smile and a point.

This past weekend my husband and I traveled to a wedding .... a chance to celebrate a union and an opportunity for some "us" time. The event was beautiful and although we weren't actual family members of the bride or groom, everyone made us feel at home. Over our four day vacation we met some wonderful individuals who made us laugh, feel loved and inspired us to do more as a family. One young man by the name of Justin really impressed my husband and I. His spirit that followed him was one of joy and appreciation and I have a feeling it was taught to him by the same family that showed us so much joy.
Justin is a 26 year old man living with cerebral palsy. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking "living" isn't the right word.... he is thriving! I sat back and watched Justin laugh at someones jokes, dance down the soul train line and announce the bride with bells tied around his wrists. For the exact same reason I was at the wedding, he was to and I'm sure he enjoyed it just as much as me. Speaking with his mother, I wondered what happened to Justin. Was it a stroke like Braylon? Similar... he had a series of seizures at birth causing the cerebral palsy. Although Justin can not speak, he absolutely understands everything and in some cases may have a better understanding of the world than most. I learned thru our conversation that as a young boy Justin played football, using his 3-point stand to tackle and block at the line. Now, at the age of 26, Justin has his driver's permit. He is so excited, but I'm posititve his mother is suffering the same anxiety I will when the time comes for my boys to drive.
For an hour and a half we talked about our very special boys and the way we help mold them. It was inspiring and uplifting. My heart was encouraged and my mind set at ease knowing that my son too can accomplish his goals. The very best part of that whole conversation was when Justin looked at me with a smile on his face and pointed to his head, as if to say "I can do anything I set my mind to." A simple gesture that I took with me, not only for my son Braylon, but for myself as well.... I can do anything I set my mind to.

The Opportunity

Oh VBS!!! Really, thank God for VBS!! If you can't tell my older boys went to VBS last week and as much as they enjoyed it, I think I enjoyed it twice as much....and yes for my own personal peace. Since VBS was in the evening I was able to shop, clean and even surprise my husband a little.
After a long day with six kids at the house, I was getting the boys ready to go to VBS and with 5 minutes left before we had to leave, I decided to surprise the hubby by going to the office. See one day a week my husband has an opportunity meeting and I miss it usually because it is so hard to take 3 kids to the office AND keep them QUIET. So with 5 minutes to get dressed, I threw on whatever did not need ironed and an extra squirt of perfume. It was time for Braylon and I to go support daddy and the business.
As expected my husband was very pleased to see us there. Braylon was ecstatic to be in the midst of all of the people... I swear he was showing off! So as the meeting began B did a wonderful job at being quiet, eating snacks. But as the meeting progressed he began to get "ants in his pants". Every time the room burst into applaud, B clapped to. Only B can only clap with one hand, slapping his right hand against his belly is B's way of clapping. And every time someone in the crowd would amen or cosign, Braylon would bounce up and down in his stroller. He was truly enjoying being in the environment of happy people cheering for one another. Who knows maybe B will be the best team player ever one day! Time came for my husband to present and as he walked up front B clapped along with everyone else. What caught me by surprise wasn't the ease my husband had speaking, it wasn't the amount everyone laughed at his jokes. It WAS that at every opportunity of silence, Braylon yelled "DADA, DADA!".... his first words. Joy filled my heart as I heard those words, even though they weren't "mama". Speaking can be very difficult for stroke victims, but I know for B it will be something else to brag about.
Braylon and I went to the office that evening to share in a business opportunity meeting, never expecting it to be Braylon's opportunity to tell his daddy he loves him and is proud of him in the simple, but endearing words of "DADA". What I learned... when an opportunity presents itself, take advantage even if that opportunity wasn't meant for you.

NO WALKING!!

By now those of you who know me have heard me say, "Braylon is crawling!" Although crawling is a natural progression for babies, there was a time when we didn't think B would crawl...we thought he'd just walk first. Not until now did I realize the importance of him crawling. Yes, I know it is necessary for him to learn his balance and all but I had NO idea crawling helped with brain development.

Today at Dr. Erb's, the chiropractor, Dr. Kim was playing with B and thrilled with his improvements. She couldn't believe how fast he is getting around. After adjusting our family, Dr. Kim expressed how important it is for us to keep Braylon crawling... "No walking!" she reiterated. I wondered why it is so important that he doesn't walk. Well little did I know that crawling builds and strengthens the low-level brain areas, which is the foundation of the brain. And we all know it is very important to have a strong foundation... He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. ~ Luke 6:48.

Outside of Braylon's stroke issues, he was also diagnosed with Strabismus.. a wandering eye. We took him to an optometrist months ago and she gave us patches to use over his "strong eye" and told us he would probably need surgery. Aaahhh! What else Lord? But like I said that was months ago and I only used the patches once because I hated pulling the patch off B's eye. We have been seeing Dr. Erb for a few months now and Braylon's eye no longer wanders. I am so thankful that through chiropractic adjustments strabismus is not an issue. Today I also discovered that Braylon crawling all over the place is helping with his eye movement as well. Funny when you open your mind to alternative healings, you realize how powerful God is. Without surgery, medicine or any other "normal" methods Braylon is getting better because of God's healing power within Braylon!

This may be a little off the subject, but I need to write it down anyways. We all have dreams that God put within us. We may look around and see other people having success at OUR dream and wonder why not me. The same principal applies here.... we must crawl first. My dreams are not on hold, but they haven't come fully into fruition. I may still be crawling, building my strong foundation. I accept that, because one of these days I'm going to walk and when I do my foundation will be built strong upon the Lord. Although crawling can seem like a slow process, shortly after you learn to walk you run. So take this message and remember "No walking!" God will let you know when it's time to run!!

Check out this article on why crawling is important.

http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=202&Itemid=108

My boys,
This weekend was so much fun! I really enjoyed spending time at the lake. Watching ALL of you laughing and smiling was such a blessing... truly. You will always have my love...

My family spent time at the lake recently. I must admit it was worth packing up the 2 coolers, 4 beach bags, diaper bag, stroller & 3 kids. We all had a great time.
My thoughts bounced from watching the big brothers and being amazed at Braylon's swagger. He crawled all over the blanket taking in the wind, squinting at the sun. Sitting on the beach B played in the sand.....well, rocks :) and laughed at the waves splashing his face. He was "the man" enjoying the day with people he loves. He is not a victim in any way.... He knows he has it going on. And I love watching!!!

Colin Johnson

On the Today Show this morning a young man named Colin Johnson was a special guest. Kids have been invited to the Today Show for all different reasons: cooking, playing music, reading at age 2, but Colin was special for me. He was born 8 weeks pre-mature and suffered from brain hemorrhage. The outlook was not good at all. Eleven years later Colin is on a national news program playing the guitar.... and doing very well! His father was asked how he became talented in music. His response was to say his brain developed his special talents.

I believe in God and His plan, so for sure something awesome will come out of Braylon's brain damage. What??? I'm just waiting to see. Just like Colin, B is developing a strength we can never imagine and an attitude most of us wish for. Braylon may never play the guitar like Colin or even play football like Daddy, but he will find his passion that God has put into him. If that passion is developed from a damaged brain or healthy body, I don't know. He will however be great... just like the rest of my family.

Check out Colin's story and be impressed!

Today Show:11-year-old rocker performs

Braylon's MRI photos

Here are some of Braylon's MRI photos of his brain. As described to us... the light gray areas are damaged parts of his brain and the white areas are the way his brain should look all over. If you look closely at the images you will see black circles or ovals; that part of his brain is dead and fluid filled cysts are now there. I guess when the brain dies it shrinks and the cysts take up space so the brain can be secure. I'm not a medical doctor though.... just going off my own experiences.

Braylon has hundreds of other images that show almost the same thing.... half a brain. BUT the image we all see of Braylon in person is completely different. He is my HERO and exactly were he is suppose to be..... God is so good! I can't believe my son's brain looks like this, but his actions have never shown us despair. Please give no excuses for where you are, just keep moving in the direction you want to be!

He fell 30 times today!

It's been a couple of weeks since I last updated the blog. It is not because Braylon has stopped progressing, matter of fact he's moving leaps and bounds. His left arm is moving more and he's learning how to control it. B is crawling so fast that my eyes have a hard time keeping up with him. Plus I know when he finally does walk.... well RUN, he's out of here!!!!
There is something that I want to update you all on.... and it's very inspiring. For about 6 weeks now B has been trying to pull himself up to a standing position. Everyday he tries and everyday he falls... EVERYDAY! My husband would come home and I'd tell him "B fell 30 times today trying to stand up." On average he would fall 20-40 times a day for 6 whole weeks. I couldn't imagine that; falling flat on my face 1000 times in a row and to have enough nerve to try again. But again B defies all odds, b/c a week ago HE DIDN'T FALL!!!! He stood right up, holding onto the ottoman and smiling in his accomplishment.
Why do I feel like giving up after only a couple of rejections or failures??? I'm sure I'm not alone. I guess in some situations I give up b/c what I'm trying to do holds no value, i.e. wake boarding. In others it may seem easier to quit than to fail.... although failure is just on the way to success. Please take motivation from B. He is amazing and always makes me question myself... Am I really doing my best? Usually the answer starts as No, but it doesn't have to finish that way. I can't wait to update you again!

Earlier today I loaded an app so I can send messages to my blog. I didn't think I'd ever use it. But I was thinking of B and how good he's doing. Then I remember a comment made to me once.
One day I was speaking with someone about an experience she had with a student who once had a stroke. She said the students only problem was writing. I know her intentions were good and supportive and they were, but I see what she doesn't.
That student may be my son one day, sitting in a room full of teachers and nurses and me. A teacher or nurse may say "His only problem is he needs help holding a pencil". But I will know that he learned how to be a champion, an overcomer with only half of the brain we have! Matter of fact he's done so well that you think his only problem his holding a pen!

CRAWLING!!!

Crawling, my baby is crawling!! I can't even begin to explain how it feels to see B take his first few steps to crawl, but I can tell you that I started cheering so loud for him that he stopped crawling to "clap" for himself. Most babies begin to crawl around 6-7 months... well for B it is 13 months. Not that he's worried about being a late bloomer! His independence is something my husband and I always pray for. B watches his brothers run to hide when daddy comes home and I can see it in his eyes that he wants to do the same thing. Well he's getting closer.
A couple months ago I wasn't sure if B would ever crawl.... I thought he'd go straight from rolling everywhere to walking. I think his p/t was worried that would happen too. Why worried??? Because developmentally he needs to learn to balance first on all fours so when he does walk he doesn't fall so much. It's funny to see all of us gather around him and cheer him on, if only we treated all the people we know the same. He can't help but want to do more and try more.
When we first met with the neurologist he mentioned that B's progress would be determined by how "bad he wants it". I promise he wants it B-A-D! This boy doesn't stop. I wish I had his determination.... let me rephrase that. I know I have his determination b/c God is no respecter of man, meaning we are all created to achieve great things. My goal, instead of wish, is to use what I have and not worry about failing or getting hurt. When I grow up I want to be just like my little B!

Tom McCarthy - General Quarters

Watching the Kentucky Derby on tv is the only horse racing my family and I really pay attention to. This year was an exciting adventure, but my favorite part was told way before the race. There is a man by the name of Tom McCarthy who had a horse racing this past weekend... horses name is General Quarters. Now Tom somehow managed to buy this horse for $20,000 and train the horse himself. He obviously did a good job, they're racing in THE Kentucky Derby. Anyways..... before the race all of the owners and trainers walk with their horses over to the gate and while this was happening a news crew was interviewing Tom. Due to his lack of money, experience and fame in the horse racing world they asked "Have you ever imagined yourself walking your horse in the Kentucky Derby?" Duh..... I love Tom's answer, "I've been dreaming about it for 50 years!"



I love his attitude. It took 50 years for his dream to come true, but it did! He may not have won the race that day, but he stuck to his dream when MOST people would have given up decades ago. Plus he was not intimidated by horses that were bought for millions or training who have "super bowl" rings from derbies prior. For my sons.... never give up on your dreams, the big ones or the little ones. God put those dreams in you for them to be accomplished. On a daily basis my dreams for Braylon come true as well as my family. Thank you for those dreams Lord!



Tom McCarthy's story

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more_sports/2009/04/28/2009-04-28_feelgood_story_of_tom_mccarthys_horse_general_quarters_rides_into_kentucky_derby.html

The Mind of a Champion

This past weekend I had the opportunity to hear from an adult stroke survivor. Every bit of him reminded me of Braylon.... except the age difference. He and his family spoke of the stroke and the recovery since at a Primerica fast start school. In their words they thanked God for his survival ( he had a 50/50 chance) and for the blessing they were able to achieve thru Primerica that made the monetary side of a stroke so much easier. I believe his stroke occured in October or November, but already he was speaking in front of a crowd of a few hundred and walking up steps... it gave me much hope for Braylon.

Just the other day B's p/t was discussing with us some obstacles that he will face in the upcoming years: walking up stairs, going to the bathroom, getting dressed. Most of the problems we talked about would be caused by the lack of use in his left arm. Now I completely understand her realistic view of Braylon's disability, but for me and my family we believe in God's healing. Everything we say to or about B is about God's healing. When Braylon sleeps longer than normal our response is, "God must really be healing his body right now." When Braylon is on my lap drinking a bottle I sing Joel Osteen's "Your an overcomer, more than a conqueror...." The Bible says power is in the tongue, so we plan on using that to our advantage. I once read in a book of a man who's son was born deaf. Everyday he would put his lips to the back of his son's head and tell him how strong he is, how much of a champion he is. That son grew up to be a successful inventor and business owner and that didn't happen because he focused on his disability!

Although we are not yet wealthy because of Primerica.... notice I said YET, we have definitely grown in spirit. We have learned to always look for the positive, and work hard for what we want. I am very thankful for a company that has changed my point of view of all situations and the encouragement we get from the people we work with. My family has been put into a position where not only can we talk Braylon into being a champion and a overcomer, but we all feel the same about ourselves. We are champions! How can we not be when our God lives inside us???

The unnoticables...

This past weekend was a busy one! First we went to Sea World, then Braylon was dedicated to the Lord at church and finally we had his 1st birthday party. Fun followed us everywhere we went, but so did appreciation. Family and friends surrounded us with love and joy... I'll take that any time. My favorite part was being able to see my children happy and enjoying God's many gifts. I also enjoy bragging on my kids... who doesn't?

With my older boys, Torian and DeShon, my bragging is more about how well they're doing in school or how they made me laugh, but with Braylon, it's a little different. I tend to brag on what others would never even notice. For example, on the way to Sea World B got tired of waiting on Torian to hold his bottle, so he thought he'd try it himself. To all of our surprise, Braylon held his bottle for the first time. We all started cheering for him and praising God at the same time. It may not seem like much to hold a bottle, but it is a huge step to his independence and time added to my day. Think about it... he is one and every time he wanted a bottle (every 2 hours) I had to stop what I was doing to feed him. Not that I minded, but I appreciate the fact that now he can do it on his own.

Stiffness in Braylon's left arm and hand is what made us know something was different with him. Now that stiffness is starting to leave him. Braylon was sleeping when his birthday party first began. After awhile, I decided to wake him up so we can sing "Happy Birthday". A couple of friends and I were discussing B and his healing. Wanting to brag on B, I showed them how now we can lift his left arm straight above his head. Again the unnoticables... they were impressed and I couldn't stop thanking God for that flexibility. Weeks ago it would be very difficult to put a shirt or coat on B. His left arm would have to go on first because it would BARELY move. I don't even remember thinking about Torian and Shon's felxibility, except for "How do they stick their foot in their mouth?" LOL! New lesson learned... Thank God for the unnoticables!

Still I Rise

This weekend our family celebrated Braylon's 1st birthday. We also celebrated Easter and Jesus rising from the dead. When we hear the word rise or risen in terms of people, we may think of Jesus Christ, Maya Angelou, or maybe even Tupac. I have one more to add to my list.... Braylon.
My mom flew in town to see all three of her grandkids and I'm sure she was so excited. It's been 3 1/2 months since we seen her last. Although Braylon has improved tremendously in that time, his disability becomes more obvious the older he gets; the more independent he's suppose to be. The first day Ga-Ga, my mom, was here she was impressed by B pulling himself up into a standing position. YAY! But what she didn't realize was that because of the stroke and hemiparesis, Braylon can't balance very good and he fell over. Now as soon as he fell, he started crying and my mom's guilt filled the air. I wasn't worried, but I understand wanting to be over protective. Failing at something over and over again is part of the learning process. That's why Sunday at church the exact same thing happened again. B pulled himself to the standing position and he fell. The nursery called me with worries, but like my mom, I assured them everything would be okay.
Words of encouragement and a hand to hold on to is all I can offer B as he tries to push his limits. My God is helping as well, but Braylon is going to have to take the first step. And step over and over again. We all can identify with B falling... or failing. We have failed at things at least a couple times in our lives. We've been disappointed and saddened when we couldn't complete the task or at least couldn't stay at the level of achievement we had hoped for. But are we like Braylon?? Do we say to ourselves let me try again?? It's difficult to continue get up after falling every time you try something, but persevere in all you do. Say to yourself.... "Still I Rise".

Infantile faith

What a beautiful day it is... at least where I live! Braylon and I are sitting outside listening to music and enjoying all that God blesses us with. As I look at the spring around me, I noticed our pecan trees are the only ones not to have leaves. I have no idea why it takes them so long to fill the sky with their green leaves, but I'm sure the tree is not worried about being last to bloom. "Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation."

Today was Braylon's third adjustment with the chiropractor. It has been wonderful to see how Braylon interacts with everyone in that office. He gets so excited to see them and even reaches out to them. By the way he just started reaching out to me this week too! I wonder if somehow B knows that the chiropractor and his team are there to help. He must. Faith is what is natural for him. Why does he babble when he wakes up??? Because he has faith that mommy or daddy will come get him! Why does he show his chiro and p/t love when they come?? Because he has faith that God put them in his life to heal him. Makes sense doesn't it. Last year I asked God to increase my faith. What did I do that for? At the time I wasn't thinking that meant I was going to be put in situations where faith was the only thing I had to rely on. Good news is.... at least I have faith in God, some people don't even have that!

The chiropractic neurologist.

A week ago I received a phone call from a chiropractor. He heard about Braylon from a client of his and wanted to help. Help! Our minds were open to whatever can help B, so at least we can do is hear him out. We were amazed at what the doctor was showing us. It made so much sense. Braylon has been adjusted twice and we already see a change in his flexibility. With the chiropractic neurologist helping his central nervous system communicate better and the p/t showing him how to work his body..... oh boy! But the best part of all..... God is in control, working thru each one of us. I can't wait to see what's in store.

Check out this article. Maybe you can learn something that will help you or a family member live a healthier life.
http://www.falitechiropractic.com/index.php?file=article_neurology.html

Why a blog?

"This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words." 1 Corinthians 2:13

On January 27, 2009 My husband and I found out that our 9 month old son, Braylon, had a stoke. We had been knowing for a month or so that there was a problem, but the severity took us off guard. As the doctor went over Braylon's MRI report, explaining what occured to each area of his brain, I was shocked. Although I already new B was delayed, I never expected the picture that was sitting in front of me. Almost his entire right side of his brain had been damaged, some parts were even dead. As tears filled my eyes, I glanced down at my baby "B". He was banging a toy with his right hand. He looked up at me and smiled and I knew God was good.

Being a mother can be rewarding and tiring all at the same time in any situation. But I knew this situation... Braylon's situation was going to push me to limits I never thought I would experience. Since January life has been a constant race, because not only am I trying to get the best medical care for Braylon, but I am trying to continue to be a loving wife and caring mother to my other two wonderful boys.

Expressing myself through words on a paper is what I have always enjoyed. As for the others in my family, they'd rather talk it out. For now it is my words, thoughts and feelings that you will read. I pray God gives me words to encourage my family and friends. This has affected my family as group and as individuals. We have already grown in our faith. Since that day God has proven himself over and over again.... not that He needs too. Two months ago Braylon could do NOTHING by himself, now he's sitting on his own, rolling all over the place and playing independently on the floor. I am so proud of him and what he teaches me. Just because you can't do something today, doesn't mean it can't be accomplished tomorrow! I thank God for B's relentless spirit.

I leave you with this.... when the neurologist was explaining the reason why Braylon had his stroke, he used the words " a stroke of bad luck". But I disagree. God trusts my family enough to use our weakness to show off God's strength. To me that is a "Stroke of Luck".